Proposed Articles That Were Promised a Response but Never Even Got a Follow-Up Email

Proposed Articles That Were Promised a Response but Never Even Got a Follow-Up Email
by Erin Vance

Rejected From: Reductress

I Don't Wear My Glasses to the Gym and Someone Finally Told Me That My Workout Buddy Has Been a Sack of Potatoes in a Nike Shirt All Along.
(One-liner)

Bees Are My Favorite Insect Because They Truly Represent How Useless Men Are in the Age of Dildos and Science.
Male bees exist to aid reproduction. They leave their dicks behind in their mates, who then leave them to bleed out and die. Why aren’t humans considering this more seriously?
(Thoughts)

I'm Saving Myself for Marriage but I Got an Iud in Case Aliens Abduct and Try to Impregnate Me.
(One-liner) 

I Bought a Choker, so Now I'm a Certified Wiccan. 
I saw Kylie wearing one, so I went onto the Forever 21 website and ordered the first black choker I saw. What happened next changed my life forever. 
(Womanspiration)

Working in a Nursing Home and Secretly Turning off Oxygen Tanks Is What Is Keeping Me Looking 25.
Learn my secrets to youthful skin and endless energy. Hint: It involves murder. Lots of murder. (Living)

I Started Dating an Indian Guy so People Would Stop Calling My Bindi Racist.
(One-liner)

Things the Moth on My Windowsill Would Have Said Last Night When I Was Masturbating to Harry Potter Erotica.
"I’m guessing this is going to take longer the more you drop your phone on your face."
(Listicle) 

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